January is the peak month of the year when many couples decide to separate and apply for a divorce. It is a little ironic then that Valentine’s Day occurs on 14th February not long after the Janaury relationship meltdown. Valentine’s day is named after the Christian Saint Valentinus who died on that day. Some say he was imprisoned for performing weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to marry, and others say that he married Christian couples. It is a day celebrated around the world by couples showing their love for each other. It’s time to buy a gift for your loved one, maybe a bunch of flowers, and take him or her, for a nice meal at a swanky restaurant.
Or is it, from a cynical perspective, another day when couples are persuaded to spend money on a gift they can’t afford and a meal out with a highly inflated bill to boot?
After all, why should there be a specific day assigned for showing your partner that you really love them?
I really am no spoil sport, but most relationship counsellors will probably advise that it is the little things that matter to your partner most. That, rather than the inevitable evening in front of the telly on Saturday night, you might consider taking your partner out, or you might offer to cook the meal for a change or even just paying small compliments to your other half such as “you look nice today”, or “that dress looks nice on you”, will show that you noticed them.
From a legal point of view, when it comes to divorce, unreasonable behaviour is the main reason for breakdown of marriages, as recorded in divorce petitions. For many who have no experience of marital breakdown, unreasonable behaviour might seem to involve an abusive spouse, but actually the courts will accept more “minor” issues or facts, cited as part of the unreasonable behaviour.
It is not uncommon for people to say in a divorce petition that their spouse doesn’t ever compliment them, or is not interested in being intimate, or doesn’t show any interest in their daily activities.And these things don’t just apply to married couples. It just happens that cohabitees do not have a legal forum in which their unhappiness may be cited, when their relationship breaks down, such as in a divorce petition.
So, whilst you should make Valentine’s Day a special one, remember that doing little things during the course of the year will help your partner feel special and might be what ends up holding your marriage or relationship together.
Of course, if your relationship has got to the point that it has really broken down, we can assist you in dealing with your divorce, or dissolution of civil partnership, or with financial or children matters related to married or unmarried couples. Please contact me, Shakeel Mir, on 020 8956 2655 or at firstname.lastname@example.org.