The dangers Facebook and Twitter can pose to a relationship. By Randal Buckley - The Law House Family Law Solicitors, London & Peterborough

The dangers Facebook and Twitter can pose to a relationship. By Randal Buckley

By in All Blogs, Family Law Category on July 10th, 2013

I was watching my friend’s son navigate Twitter the other day in amazement. I am a regular Tweeter and thought I had a fairly good grasp of it. However, compared with this social media prodigy, I am a novice. The amount of information he was putting out about his (and my) day out in London was awesome.  His followers were inundated by a detailed minute by minute account of the day. I am sure you know the type of person, he was with me in body but at the same time his mind was also connected to his web of contacts, followers and online friends.

I am not criticising the boy, he loves tweeting and no warning about the possible consequences would stop him from putting his life so openly online. He is a sensible young man. I am sure that he would not fall into the error of being unsafe by sharing information that is too personal or “sexting”. However, I could not resist telling him that by publishing his life so freely in this way could lead to problems later on.

“I’ve got nothing to hide,” he says, “stop being such a lawyer”. There has been much research and the modern social media relationship pattern is identified as follows:

  •  The initial crush and inevitable Facebook/Twitter stalking of your target.
  •  The re-making of yourself by inserting pictures and interests discovered from your stalking onto your own timeline and stream to make yourself more attractive to the target.
  •  You snag your target, start a relationship and promptly forget that the “re-made” you is not the actual you.  You cannot keep up the social media facade and the relationship hits the rocks.
  •  You break up in full view of both the virtual and the real world and become unable to escape your virtual world ex-partner.
  •  Return to step 1.

I feel better for telling him but I am not sure if I’ve made any impact, not least because he has never known any other way to communicate with his girlfriend(s) than through social media. Perhaps being a novice in the ‘virtual’ world but experienced in the ‘real’ world is not such a bad thing after all.

So, social media gives us access to current, former, and potential partners or at least the “social media” version of these people and the power to re-make yourself. Then, there is your timeline, stream, wall, and photos all on a cloud somewhere from which you cannot really escape. More and more, people are relying on social media feeds in Court proceedings, for example to prove that the other person is  a bad parent, so you have been warned.

If you feel that you might have said things online you now regret and it relates to a divorce or separation and would like to talk to someone then please contact Randal Buckley for expert legal advice or you can ring Randal on 020 8956 2655 or contact him at