How to ensure your marriage survives Christmas.......and doesn’t end in divorce by Sara Barnes | | The Law House

How to ensure your marriage survives Christmas…….and doesn’t end in Divorce! by Sara Barnes

By in All Blogs, Family Law Category on November 21st, 2013

The drunken Christmas parties, the pressure of entertaining or visiting extended family, and with the current financial difficulties, Christmas can be an extremely stressful time for any couple.  The decision as to how and with whom to spend Christmas can cause some couples terrible arguments.

The first working week in January until Easter is renowned for being a divorce lawyer’s busiest time, although personally I think it varies year to year… 

Here are my top ten tips gathered from various sources to survive the festive season and turn what may be a stressful, divorce provoking time into a magical, even romantic one!

Rather than frantically running round the shops not sure what to buy your other half, ask for a list and use it if you can.  Do not leave your shopping to the last minute when you are panicked or can’t find what your loved one would like.  This could spell a bad start to what could be a special Christmas.

Remember to receive your presents graciously.  Your partner may have chosen wrongly, but they are trying their best to please you and show their love.

Agree a budget for presents and don’t overspend.  Arguments over money and financial problems put your relationship under considerable stress and are often a major cause of divorce.

Talk before, not after Christmas as to what your expectations for the festive period are.  Divide up any tasks which have to be done. Miscommunication is another frequent cause of divorce.

Choose together how you want to spend your couple/family time, whether with extended family or alone.  Remember, it is your choice.  If you feel you have to spend time with family when you’d rather not, agree how you will manage this.

If possible, make sure you do set aside a good amount of time to spend as a couple, and make sure that that time is yours to give each other the attention you deserve, with no interruption from your mobile phone, Blackberry or computer.

Consider what your partner will be feeling or worrying about.  Try to alleviate their stresses by helping them out.

Why not create a new tradition?  Make it special to you and your partner.

Remember the effect alcohol, particularly in excess, has upon you.  Unless alcohol has little effect upon you or makes you the kindest, most sensitive person around, do not enter into those ‘deep and meaningful’ discussions.

Remember compromise is the key, whatever the issue.

If you do not survive the Christmas period and feel you need to separate or divorce, please contact me for some clear advice as to your options on 01245 809 556 or email me at